Prodigal Daughter
Dear Prodigal Daughter,
I haven’t forgotten you, and this barren land you wandered into isn’t home. You’ve been searching, hoping to find the thing that fills the aching hole in your heart. I know you feel so alone, so unseen. I have been watching and waiting for you though. I have heard what you are going through, and it breaks my heart.
Vanity and Inferiority have become your best friends in this land, and they hold a mirror up to you every time you step out of your home. They tell you to do, say, and pay anything to perfect your image. You compare your body with what it used to be and with every woman found on any account or video that falls before your eyes. You neglect your loved ones working to attain the beauty men worship and women envy. You brag about the college your child was accepted into, your car, your house, your grades, your dating life, the money you save and your meal plan because it makes you feel superior to the others who obviously don’t try as hard as you. Every word that comes out of your mouth is perfectly curated for every interaction because you strive to earn the approval and acceptance of everyone. Others are always one step ahead of you. You are embarrassed at the lack of life you have lived, the degree you never finished, the house you don’t own, and the job you don’t have. No one can know that you have issues. You are never satisfied with the blessings that I have given you and you believe how others see you is more important than my desires for your life; I know.
Distraction is your old dog, and he always needs attention. You constantly stay busy with activities, whether work, chores, school, sports, or vacations. You complain that you never have enough time, and yet your schedule fills more every month. Your mind can never stay still. You are afraid that the peace I offer will not fulfill your needs and block out the real pain in your life; I know.
Unfair is your next-door neighbor, and he loves to tell you about the pain I could have kept you from. Your heart breaks watching so many others find the love of their life, and you’ve never even been in a relationship. You’ve lost loved ones through heartbreaking circumstances and blamed yourself for it. Your hatred burns towards those who physically abused you, though you never deserved it. You’ve miscarried babies you longed to raise into beautiful men and women. The blushing bride you dreamed of being ended in massive heartbreak, and the marriage that should have stood through every storm quickly shattered in divorce at your feet. You’ve been furious with me for it all; I know.
Shame is your mail man, delivering news of everything you’re not as soon as your day begins. Your mental health is anything but healthy. Anxiety, self-harm, fear, depression, suicidal thoughts, addiction, and bondage torment your soul. You question every move you make thinking it could end in disaster, and the past whispers lies that are cleverly disguised in truth. You wonder how I could allow such thoughts to fill your being, and you hide in darkness to prevent others from seeing you and your fear. You question how I could ever love someone as broken as you; I know.
Loneliness, the trickiest of all. He is the brother who convinced you to move far away into this land ravaged with famine, drought, and destruction. He keeps you blind, turning every light off in your home. The friends, family, and marriage you don’t have plague your heart. You feel inferior to others and forgotten as you chose to watch your children instead of working outside the home. No one thanks you for tending to the needs of your sick spouse, aged parents, and disabled child. No one sees the late hours you spend working to feed your family. You feel forgotten by others and me. You feel so unseen in your problems. You feel unloved, unwanted, and unnecessary. You sit on your couch at night crying, but you might as well be in the deepest, darkest pit where no light or human being is to be found. You wonder why no one sees you and loves you. You scream at me, asking why I could allow someone I created to be so utterly alone and forgotten; I know.
Daughter, I know all, and I see all. I see you are dying of hunger and thirst. I have not forgotten you. I do not hate you. I long for your homecoming. This land that seems to offer so much is filled with empty lies. It is a dry place to live. It will never fill your soul and bring comfort to your mind. Come to me and I will give you rest from the place that has beaten and battered your soul. Please come home to me. My heart is filled only with compassion towards you because you are my daughter whom I value more than anything else in this world. I forgive you, and I deeply miss you.
Forever,
Your Father
“So (she) returned home to (her) father. And while (she) was still a long way off, (her) father saw her coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his (daughter), embraced (her), and kissed (her). His (daughter) said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your (daughter).’
“But (her) father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on (her). Get a ring for (her) finger and sandals for her feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this (daughter) of mine was dead and has now returned to life. (She) was lost, but now (she) is found.’ So the party began.
Luke 15: 20-24